Guess we need to start somewhere.
Welcome to my miserable life. I'm an adult who should be having a mid-life crisis, but instead of worrying about what hair color should my white hair be dyed with or how tight my clothes should be or what's my next step in my career, I just buried my dad who died of a very aggressive form of lung cancer, signed up for two full time jobs, (because why the heck not, Lord knows we need the money), and now my mom was just diagnosed with the same type of aggressive cancer and is very slowly deteriorating before my very eyes.
I know, I know, no one really goes through this life without much pain and anguish, but keep in mind I did and I'm doing all this in the middle of a pandemic! My brother is an immature prick who mostly got spoiled by my well-meaning parents, so he's not at all reliable, and any relative that can or may help can't because they're afraid of being in hospitals being made vulnerable to any kind of Coronavirus (those new ones are a bitch to deal with, I heard).
The title is absolutely right. I just turned 40. I don't feel like an adult, to be honest. I feel like a lost child about to be an orphan. On top of all of this, the two jobs are weighing on me severely. I feel responsible for the world, without a break. In fact, I cooked a freaking meal while in a meeting, because who else will? The household won't run itself while I'm busy earning money that gets very quickly depleted thanks to lab tests and medicines and peripherals (adult diapers, geriatric protein powders, etc).
We rotate schedules. I have an older aunt who can't really lift my mom from the bed and she does 2AM to 6AM, then I wake around 8AM to make breakfast and get her meds. A nurse comes in from 9AM to 9PM to take care of her, for meds and other needs. You're probably thinking, but that's like 9PM to 2AM, 5 hours max! Yeah, I make food, I work 2 jobs from 9AM to around 10PM, and I have to make sure I cater to her every whim - call the doctor, get lab results, buy meds and we do that through my brother who's our official errand boy who thinks he's essentially doing everything.
Anyhow, might have to run to do more work - either as a caregiver or as an all-around maid or as an employee. Thanks for letting me vent.
